Tag: orgasm

Ruined

January 25, 2018

After completing the list of chores my husband left for me yesterday and then receiving proper permission from him, I spent the rest of the afternoon edging. I had my vibe resting on my clit as I scrolled through Tumblr reading about orgasm denial and looking at cuckquean captions. Thinking about my husband fucking another woman is such a turn on for me. I imagine him having sex with one of the farm girls bent over a bale of hay, or with one of the young college girls in his English class. Yeah…ok…I’m back. Before I knew what was happening, I felt myself tip over the edge. I immediately removed the vibe from my clit, ruining my orgasm. What should have been an enjoyable experience (because who doesn’t enjoy a ruin?????) was absolutely torturous. I do not lose self-control like that. EVER. I was so disappointed in my self. It was my first ruin since creating my contract forbidding ruins without my husband’s permission. I was ashamed the rest of the afternoon and dreaded telling him what I had done. I truly don’t understand it. I don’t lose control. What happened to me? So now, I await my punishment from my husband, but I know that none of the punishments on the contract are nearly as bad as the shame I already feel for losing control.

Celebrating 20 Wonderfully Horrible Days Without An Orgasm

Jan. 21, 2018

Despite my husband’s expertise teasing abilities, I have made it to day 20 with no orgasms and I’ve never felt more fulfilled in my life. The feeling of being simultaneously sexually satisfied and sexually frustrated is pure ecstasy.

I’m not exactly model material. I have had 5 children, one by C-section, stretch marks, and I carry a little extra weight. You won’t find me on the cover of a magazine, unless proud mom body is a magazine, but I have never felt sexier or more desirable in my life. This morning, for the first time in my life, I went in public without wearing a bra. The feel of the button up shirt against my nipples is keeping me constantly wet.

When I started this journey, I set a goal of no orgasm for 2 months. This ends on March 1. Since setting that goal, I have given control of my orgasms to my husband. He may choose to never allow me another orgasm and honestly, that’s exactly what I’m hoping for. I love feeling constantly aroused. I have also discovered that I love pleasing my husband with my mouth and I crave the feel of his cum going down my throat, and I mean I seriously crave it, like a pregnant woman craves pickles and ice cream. Knowing that my husband is even more turned on because of my frustration as well as his acknowledgement that me giving him my orgasms is a gift, excites me and adds to my burning desire to do everything I can to please him. Last night it pleased him to rub orajel on my clit and then torture it. I couldn’t feel it when he was doing it but I can feel it today. It’s even more achy and needy today than I thought possible. It also pleased my husband to look and me as he was fucking me and telling me that he was going to cum soon, and when he did, he wanted me to hold my pussy open for him so he could shoot his load into my gaping hole. Just hearing those words made me want to cum and I had to use my breathing to stop myself from orgasming.

I have been given the task, from a friend I met on Tumblr, of composing an orgasm denial contract. It needs to include the specific details of my denial, including when the denial period ends as well as consequences for having an orgasm without permission. I’m finding I’m having difficulty thinking of appropriate punishments. I am not into extreme pain. That just is not my thing. I’m more into mental torture than physical. For example, being told I’m not allowed to edge for a day, that would be he’ll for me. I have to edge daily. It’s the only thing that provides me with some form of relief. Another mind fuck for me would being told that I have 5 minutes to edge and be allowed to have an orgasm but first I would have to cover my clit with orajel and wait 10 minutes. That’s torture for me.

I was wondering if any of my fellow denied friends might have some other suggestions that I could use as punishment? I need to have the rough draft of the contract finished today. Thanks in advance for any advice!